God has put it on my heart to share the testimony of my deliverance from homosexuality. It has been approximately six months (from the date of this entry) since I was freed, and I’m doing this now as an act of obedience to my Heavenly Father. I pray that whoever reads this testimony will gain wisdom and knowledge about the issue of homosexuality. To those who are still believing Satan’s greatest lie, I pray that you will receive freedom, not condemnation, from this story.

It is important to first know and understand that I never wanted to change my sexual orientation. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior in 2005, and never believed that living the homosexual lifestyle was going to send me to hell. I knew what the Bible said, but I had decided to only accept the parts of the bible that fit with the way I wanted to live my life. This is a common occurrence in “broken” Christianity. We do what makes us feel good. This is NOT the way it should be.

In the beginning of 2007, I began surrendering to the Holy Spirit, and I started to step outside of the comfortable “Christian box” that many are familiar with. This is when things started to change within me. I can’t exactly explain it, but I was no longer gaining fulfillment from the homosexual relationship that I was in. During that time, I was led to a particular church (Living Waters) with a friend that God had placed in my path. The first time was great, but it was the second time that I went to the Living Waters church that my life was forever changed. I was standing up at the front with everyone receiving prayer, and Pastor Michelle came over to me. The battle for my soul began! I don’t remember much of what was happening, but everyone in the church had stopped what they were doing and surrounded me. Everyone started interceding (praying on my behalf), and I could feel a weight being lifted off of me. I can’t even tell you what they were saying, but I remember how happy I felt afterwards. When I sat down, it felt like every cell in my body was flipping, and dancing around. I didn’t quite know what happened yet, but I knew that I felt completely different.

What came next was subtle changes in my behavior and even my thoughts. I was thinking about girls in a new way! Here I was, just living my life, perfectly content with who I was and what I was doing, and WHAM! I was transformed into a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17). I had no control over this, and never felt like it was something I had to do. It happened so naturally, that I was never scared. I just went with it.

The relationship I was in obviously came to an end, and I had the chance to share all the new things that God was doing in my life with him. I pray that someday the scales will fall from his eyes as well.

It was in that time frame of breaking free that I had the vision of homosexuality being an umbrella. The umbrella was just the covering for the real problems underneath. The lies became exposed…

My whole life had been a lie. I wasn’t born gay. God created me the way He wanted me. Do I have a creative side? Yes. Do I have a sensitive side? Yes. Am I a jock? No. God created me for His purpose, and the devil tried to pervert it. Inside I was broken. I had no male role model, and a deep need for a father. That need was perverted. These aren’t things that I learned from a magazine, or some random self-help book. This wasn’t the result of years in an ex-gay ministry. This was between me and God. These are things that God put in me! He brought all these realizations to me, so that I knew what was going on. Can you imagine the mental problems I would have if God hadn’t stepped in as my Father, leading and guiding?

Since this time, God has continued to restore me in many ways. I have re-claimed my right to be a man by the grace of God. The love that I have felt from God is still something that I’m learning to receive. It’s awesome, it’s everlasting, and it’s completely unconditional.

It’s not easy to share a testimony like this. The human side of me wants to forget my past life and say, “Thanks God for the healing, I’m moving on!” However, I’m not here to please anyone in the world. I’m not here to live up to anyone else’s expectations except my Heavenly Father’s. At the end of the day, I know why God allowed for me to go through this. This is a testimony that people need to hear. There are many that are confused with this issue. Many of the confused are in the church, and have the Word of God right in front of them. I call this the devil’s greatest lie, because it’s the one that everyone is believing! I know homosexuality isn’t from God. I know how God feels about it, and I know that He can free anyone from it! The devil would love nothing more than for me to be filled with pride, and to keep this testimony hidden. However, I’m standing on the Truth, and I will tell everyone I have to! To God be the glory!

This concludes my testimony, but I feel that there are probably some people out there that need to know more. I’ll leave this post up for comments (and questions), and if anyone reading this needs further help, please contact me. I can’t deliver you from homosexuality, only God can do that. However, I can share how I have walked this thing through, and how I have been victorious through the strength of the Lord!

UPDATE: In September 2008, one year after posting this testimony, God blessed me with one of the best gifts ever…a girl. Not just any girl, but one who has been customized just for me. God has promised full restoration, and in her, His plans are being fulfilled. Pray for us as we walk together serving the Lord, and keeping Him in the center of our relationship!