It’s funny that I haven’t had any major topics to write about lately. I feel like there’s some kind of wall that is stopping me from learning anything new. This usually happens when God wants me to marinate in the things that He has already taught me. This allows the things I learn to take root, and become a part of the new creation that He has called me to be.
I’ll be honest, I get impatient during these moments; especially when I feel like God is being a little more silent. I don’t like going long without hearing from Him.
I have to renew my website soon, and I’ve actually considered not renewing it. In other words, that would be the end of Awesome Purpose. I know people are coming to this site, and I’ve met some interesting people through this blog, but I don’t know if I’m really helping anyone. Do I have anything to offer? Nobody leaves comments. How am I supposed to know what people are getting out of this blog? What’s the point in continuing something if it isn’t interesting enough for people to comment.
The other day was my first day at the gym. Not my first day ever, but the first day of my new gym commitment. I’m ready to start feeling good about myself.
I want my own business to grow to the point where I don’t have to work at the multi-billion dollar greed machine known as Walmart. I’m tired of working third shift, and running a business in the day just to pay my bills. This has been such a humbling experience as well. Every night I have to ask myself, how did I go from being a somewhat successful design consult, to stocking shelves in ghetto-mart? Oh I forgot, God wanted to teach me something. Isn’t the lesson learned yet? I knew I was too good for that place when I started. I dealt with it though, and I have persevered. I have met some wonderful people (which I know were Divine appointments), but I don’t feel any different. Forgive me if this is pride, but I still feel like I’m too good for that place. One thing is for sure, Walmart has a serious judgement coming to them. Every night I am forced to throw out carts full of bread. Perfectly good bread too. It’s depressing.
I’m ready to move on. I’m ready for some change. I’m ready to leave this decaying country, and I would if I didn’t think that the rest of the world was decaying as well. Does anyone love where they live?
I don’t want to be single forever. I just thought I’d throw that out there while I’m spilling my heart.
I need a vacation.
I need a new church. I want a church that I can be a part of. I’ve thought about joining a home church, or maybe even starting one. I’m tired of big churches. I want a church that meets on the hilltops. I want a church that doesn’t have to bleed it’s congregation dry with all of the false tithing messages. I don’t believe in tithing. Ever since I stopped, I have been blessed with enough money to pay my bills and to give joyfully. I love giving. I just don’t believe in throwing my money on the tablets.
I really want more friends that I can hang out with. People my age that can come over and pray with me, or that I can just go to dinner with. Why do I feel so separated from the world? Other Christians have friends, and bible studies, and mission trips, and vacations.
Yeah, I’m rambling. I need to do that sometimes…
we all do…it is amazing how i could probably pull out my notebook (which i take almost everywhere) and get the same feelings all over its pages. we all feel alone sometimes…i, more than i think i should, but it always helps to know that there are others out there thinking the same things, fighting the same battles, working through the same feelings…
i want you to know that i have your page bookmarked, it is one of the things i check when i am checking my email…it is such a blessing to me, and i don’t want you to think you aren’t appreciated. you are. God is using you.
jessi
Comment Submitted: April 20th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
“No body comments”….only if you consider me a “no body”
There are 4 sites I visit every day and you’re the first. I have only one thing against you….you dont take time with your readers =D
Anyway, I wont be around for sometime. You are a blessing bro!
I’m glad you started going to the gym. It will renew your confidence.
Hope to talk to you sometime.
Sid
Comment Submitted: April 20th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I think you should keep blogging. I read your blog atleast everyday if not I try every other to read what you have. It’s all really good. Most of the time I forget to comment but that’s just me. I noticed the same thing on my end but I know people read by checking out my stats.
Comment Submitted: April 21st, 2008 at 2:01 am
Justin, I read every post in my reader. I can’t leave comments from there…takes a few extra steps and usually I have several other posts to read … so there are people reading who do not always have time to post. Keep writing. I believe it is a nice form of spiritual therapy for all of us.
As for the other things… all of us have a mundane side to our lives. In some ways it’s a means of evening out the highs and lows … and to be counted as a blessing.
Most stores will give day-old bread to homeless shelters, children’s homes, churches … if they will but ask. Maybe you could help accomodate that.
blessings,
john
Comment Submitted: April 21st, 2008 at 6:59 am
Wow, people do care!
Jessi - Thanks for the words of encouragement. Even though I know there are others, it still feels lonely. If only I could meet these “others”.
Sidharth - I’m so sorry! You are my only faithful commenter, and I certainly didn’t mean to brush off your loyalty to my blog. I was just feeling abandoned by everything.
Jeremy - Thank you! I had no idea you were reading my blog. Is there a way to see who is subscribed to your blog’s RSS? I’d love to know how many other little secret readers there are out there…
John - I always love your comments. Believe it or not, the first time I had to throw away that food, I started to tear up. I went to my manager, and he could see I was upset. Something hit him as well, and he started to tear up. Unfortunately, Walmart won’t donate the food because it’s a “liability” and “someone could get sick”. Yeah, like the people digging through garbage to find something to eat are going to be that picky! I have thought about taking this story to the news, but it seems like it might be a losing battle.
Comment Submitted: April 21st, 2008 at 8:12 am
If you want to see how many rss subscribers you have you need to use feedburner.
Which can be found at http://www.feedburner.com
When you direct them to your feed url they will take it over and waht not then you change your rss icon link to your new rss link at feedburner and when people subscribe you can see the stats at feedburner.
Feedburner actually has a plugin for wordpress you can download but you need to make an account before you can even find were to download it.
It’s pretty cool cause it makes switching your rss feed over so much easier.
But yeah feedburner is what you are looking for.
Comment Submitted: April 22nd, 2008 at 2:48 am
I just found your blog today through a link from Jeremy’s blog. The first time i saw it i felt like i finally found my blog… and now you are closing? That is not fair, give me a little time to read all your articles..
by the way, i only read one article a day so it’s going to take time.. deal? I also placed a link to your site from my blog, don’t break the link.
Comment Submitted: April 22nd, 2008 at 4:47 am
Justin,
I had never in my life read a “blog” until I was told about yours by a mutual friend. You have opened yourself up to the world in which God is at work. And I firmly beleive He is using your blog to His glory! You are very talented in what you do. I enjoy reading your blogsite and so do others. You may not know what the total may be, but God does and that is ultimately what matters. I beleive when you walk through the gates of Heaven, many will walk up to you and say “You don’t know me but….”.
Comment Submitted: April 22nd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Justin,
I always read your blog from my reader (I use Bloglines on a Windoze machine), so there’re readers like me.
We all go through bloggers’ block one time or another — I’ve been having it for the past week or so, with a stack of drafts in the WordPress folder that I somehow just cannot finish.
Just go away and have a little rest for a while, you’ll be back recharged and raring to post more than one a day when you’ve recovered!
Shalom!
Comment Submitted: April 23rd, 2008 at 2:57 am
I think your blog is challenging and edifying. I don’t make it here every day because I write on two blogs and I’m trying to get my own business to grow, but I enjoy it.
Remember to rest in God when you’re feeling like all this stuff in life is wrong. Our peace & joy must come from God, not our circumstances. Walking in the Spirit will change how we see everything.
I urge you to prayerfully consider where you should be going to church. We all have a place in the Body of Christ (the Church), and we need to find and bear fruit in that place. God has appointed each of us a place, because we all have a responsibility to fulfill in the Kingdom.
Comment Submitted: April 24th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
This is in relation to the last paragraph:Friends are everywhere and kindness is too but sometimes you have to go looking for them. Sometimes staring over is the best but hardest thing to do. :0)
Comment Submitted: July 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm