Hahaha…this is just a silly little video I did tonight!

Abundance comes in many flavors or areas of our life. Finances, relationships, and religious experiences are just a few of the main ones. Abundance is something we all pray and hope for, especially when we have been stuck in a season of lack, or drought.

Mostly everyone knows how to deal with the drought season, because we all have areas in our life that are lacking, but do we know how to deal with abundance when it comes? Imagine you were poor your whole life, and then suddenly you inherited millions of dollars. For years, this was only a dream, and then suddenly it becomes a reality.

Sometimes I think we become so attached to our lack, that when abundance does come we get a little scared, and we handle it in the wrong way. The way we handle it might even put us back to the level of lack that we were comfortable with. Someone with no friends, that suddenly starts making friends everywhere, might not know how to balance their time, and the relationships might fall apart quicker than they started.

These are all things that I have been pondering, and mainly because I have recently entered into a season of extreme abundance. I say extreme, because the blessings that are being poured out are like nothing I have ever experienced. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. I’m not used to it, so there is a part of me that feels like if I appreciate it too much it will be taken away from me, and I’ll be disappointed. I feel like I’m on top of the world, but the top is scary. When you are on the top, you have a long way to fall. When you are on the bottom, you can only go up.

Is this a fear of success? Should I be casting something out?

One of the things that scares me about money is that it changes you. When I was on the verge of being homeless my relationship with God was intense. Every day He pulled me through, and everyday I clung to His side. I’ve noticed that when we get a little comfortable we tend to get a mindset that says, “alright, I got it from here”. God forbid!

My biggest prayer lately has been, “May I not be removed from this foundation of rock that you have placed me on.” I refuse to let my circumstances change who I am in Christ. I will always need Him, and nothing is going to take me away from Him. Oh, the devil tries hard, but he will not have the victory over me. Victory belongs to the Lord!

It’s funny that I haven’t had any major topics to write about lately. I feel like there’s some kind of wall that is stopping me from learning anything new. This usually happens when God wants me to marinate in the things that He has already taught me. This allows the things I learn to take root, and become a part of the new creation that He has called me to be.

I’ll be honest, I get impatient during these moments; especially when I feel like God is being a little more silent. I don’t like going long without hearing from Him.

I have to renew my website soon, and I’ve actually considered not renewing it. In other words, that would be the end of Awesome Purpose. I know people are coming to this site, and I’ve met some interesting people through this blog, but I don’t know if I’m really helping anyone. Do I have anything to offer? Nobody leaves comments. How am I supposed to know what people are getting out of this blog? What’s the point in continuing something if it isn’t interesting enough for people to comment.

The other day was my first day at the gym. Not my first day ever, but the first day of my new gym commitment. I’m ready to start feeling good about myself.

I want my own business to grow to the point where I don’t have to work at the multi-billion dollar greed machine known as Walmart. I’m tired of working third shift, and running a business in the day just to pay my bills. This has been such a humbling experience as well. Every night I have to ask myself, how did I go from being a somewhat successful design consult, to stocking shelves in ghetto-mart? Oh I forgot, God wanted to teach me something. Isn’t the lesson learned yet? I knew I was too good for that place when I started. I dealt with it though, and I have persevered. I have met some wonderful people (which I know were Divine appointments), but I don’t feel any different. Forgive me if this is pride, but I still feel like I’m too good for that place. One thing is for sure, Walmart has a serious judgement coming to them. Every night I am forced to throw out carts full of bread. Perfectly good bread too. It’s depressing.

I’m ready to move on. I’m ready for some change. I’m ready to leave this decaying country, and I would if I didn’t think that the rest of the world was decaying as well. Does anyone love where they live?

I don’t want to be single forever. I just thought I’d throw that out there while I’m spilling my heart.

I need a vacation.

I need a new church. I want a church that I can be a part of. I’ve thought about joining a home church, or maybe even starting one. I’m tired of big churches. I want a church that meets on the hilltops. I want a church that doesn’t have to bleed it’s congregation dry with all of the false tithing messages. I don’t believe in tithing. Ever since I stopped, I have been blessed with enough money to pay my bills and to give joyfully. I love giving. I just don’t believe in throwing my money on the tablets.

I really want more friends that I can hang out with. People my age that can come over and pray with me, or that I can just go to dinner with. Why do I feel so separated from the world? Other Christians have friends, and bible studies, and mission trips, and vacations.

Yeah, I’m rambling. I need to do that sometimes…

Hey Guys! I just wanted to take a moment to update you on a few things…

I was recently awarded the Perseverance Award by Sidharth Mohandas, which you can view here.

Sidharth says,

Thank you Sid!

In other news, my business has been doing really well. The season of lack I was going through seems to be over, and I learned quite a few things. I was close to living on the streets, and as a result, I have learned to appreciate EVERYTHING so much more. The biggest lesson learned is that I can only depend on God for all things. Had I not been in constant prayer and communication with Him, I don’t know where I’d be right now.

When I was struggling financially, it was kind of hard to think about a relationship, but now that I’m on my feet again, I have been giving it a lot of thought. I’m seeking God on this, and I have been praying that He would send me the perfect girl. I know no one is perfect, but there is someone that He has planned for me (hopefully), and if marriage is in God’s plan, it is perfect enough for me!

I don’t know how potential women will view my testimony and my past. I suppose some might run as far away as possible. That is expected, but I try not to let that shatter my dreams. I know that with God anything is possible, and I’m living proof. If He can transform me from the inside out, He can do anything!

That’s an interesting thing to elaborate on. How have I been transformed from the inside out? Besides the attraction to women that I never had before, He has also done wonders with my personality. I’m learning more about what it means to be a man. I’m also learning the major differences between men and women. Generally, most women are emotional thinkers and men are rational thinkers. I always wondered why I could give the best advice to my friends, and they just couldn’t seem to understand. The problem was that most of my friends were girls who reasoned with their emotions! It has been nice to develop some healthy relationships with men who aren’t emotional. I have learned that it’s okay not to wear your heart on your sleeve. In fact, if you are a man it’s better that you don’t! After 21 years of having mainly friends who were girls, and constantly sharing my “feelings” with them, it is nice to talk about something else! With the guys, we just make fun of each other, and tell bad jokes. It’s great! Glory to God because He has restored me in many ways! I suppose I would have to write a whole other blog to explain everything in detail. The scripture about there not being enough books to contain the works that Jesus did comes to my mind. He has done so much in my life, that I could spend the rest of my days just writing books about what He did in 21 years. Maybe that will be a future project?

Long story short, pray for me to meet a suitable wife. I hate to rush God, but if you feel led to pray that He does it quickly, it would be appreciated!

Okay, money, love, business, awards…have I covered everything? Let’s see I need my breaks changed, I forgot to grab a Sunday paper, I made pea soup last week, and I got a haircut. Now you know my life!

Oh politics. I forgot politics! Please don’t vote for anyone who supports killing babies, that’s all I have to say!

There are many things that I have wanted to write about in the past week, but many others have beaten me to it. So, instead of giving you some fresh new insights, I will direct your path to those who have been hearing from God:

1. Jared at Finite Calls Infinite is bored with the Emergent Church. What took so long Jared?
2. Peter Smythe is crashing the tithing party. This article is definitely worth a look!
3. Sicarii has made an excellent and biblically correct point for why none of us are good.

Just for fun, Ray Comfort has wrote a blog about the incredible edible egg and it is a true testimony of how great our God is!

Other than that folks, there’s not a whole lot going on right now! I’ve been extremely busy with work, but I’m finally enjoying some financial freedom. I’ve had some interesting experiences with intercessory prayer in the past two weeks, and I’m beginning to wonder more about this duty that I might be called to. I haven’t learned much about interceding, but usually if God wants me doing something, He will open the doors!

After only a year of following Christ, I’m still learning many things. What a concept, huh? I’ve really had a heart for the lost, and I don’t just mean the people who don’t know Christ. I’ve been greatly disappointed with many who claim to be Christians, and contradict everything that the Word of God teaches. I’ve seen people who are just living for themselves, and doing what makes their flesh happy. I’ve seen wolves in sheep’s clothing, and people that profess love for Christ, yet take delight in the destruction of His Body. All of these things grieve me, and mainly because they grieve my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’m not perfect. I’ve given up a lot to follow Christ, but there’s nothing special about me. It is only by the hand of God that I have come this far, and I’m eternally grateful. I wish I did know everything, and I wish that I could please God in everything that I do. That is my desire, but I know that it is never possible to be perfect. Is He proud of me? Is He happy with where I am at now? Have I done anything to please Him?

These are some of the questions I have had lately. I don’t care how man views me. Nobody knows the relationship I have with God. Nobody can understand the moments that I weep because of the intense Love that floods my spirit when I’m praying to my Heavenly Father.

No, I’m not perfect. None of us are, and that is why we need a Savior.

I have absolutely nothing to talk about right now. I have searched all day long for some kind of inspirational message to share, but I have found nothing! I wouldn’t even continue reading this entry if I were you. You will just be wasting your time!

So, you are still reading…huh?

In that case, I’ll give you some tidbits on what’s going on in my life, and in the lives of others. First, The Call is this Saturday and practically in my backyard! How awesome is that? Oh, but I can’t go because I’m working. I’ve been out of work for five months with nothing to do, and now I finally have something that I really want to do, and I can’t! However, all is not lost! Lou Engle, who started The Call, will be speaking at my church on Sunday! Yippeee! I’ve heard good things about him, and I have a lot of respect for the work he is doing in our nation and all around the world. He has been obedient to his own call from the Lord, and because of that has changed the lives of thousands! Glory to God!

The past week I have been feeling led to do a fast. Last night I had confirmation when I asked the Lord to speak to me through His Word, and I heard in my spirit to read Nehemiah 1:4. I’m not familiar with the whole story, but the simple fact that the verse is about fasting was enough of a sign for me! Starting tomorrow I will be on a 21 day journey; eating only fruits and vegetables. There are many reasons why I am doing this, but mainly because I want to draw closer to our wonderful God. Please pray that His strength will be upon me!

Did you hear of the rare snow storm that hit the Middle East? What about the two old stars that are getting ready to give birth to new planets? It’s all so fascinating, isn’t it?

Finally, I have to give public praise to our Father in Heaven. I’m constantly in awe of His majesty. It’s been hard getting back to work, and not having as much time with Him, but He hasn’t left me. It’s easy to get caught up in life, and let our relationship with Him slide, but we must fight against this trap with every ounce of our energy. He’s the center of my life, and the reason I am even here to begin with! May we never lose sight of that!

You don’t need to be jealous! Anyone can make challah…just not as good as me!

(Heavenly Father, forgive me for my pride.)

By the way, I’m happy to be back after three days of my server being down! I’m very grateful that it came back to life today, so I can tell you all to have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

All I can say is “Jesus come quickly”. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m wondering where God is, and if He cares about earth anymore. Please pray for me now. I need it.

I’m updating this now (January 1, 2008) to say that this night marked a fresh renewal of my mind. My flesh died to complaining that night, and ever since I have learned to shut-up, and praise God no matter what my circumstances look like. He is always there!

Hola! I just finished my creamy pearl onions, and I’m heading to my mom’s house soon!

I love Thanksgiving! I am thankful everyday, but today I’m making it a point to be EXTRA thankful. Here are some things that I am thankful for today:

1. Jesus dying on the cross.
2. The roof over my head.
3. The food that I am fortunate to eat.
4. The beautiful Florida weather (it’s exactly 77 degrees right now).
5. The health of all my friends and family.

I know, I’m really original aren’t I? Anyway, I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving. God Bless!